Distant daughter in law reddit Quickly we realized none of that was true, and now we say it easily and constantly. I'm not an overbearing father in law. Therefore you need to make those relationship decisions carefully because you probably only have 2-3 chances in your whole life let’s say of finding the one you want to spend the rest of your li r/AskReddit: r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. At this point, daughter no longer cares. L is a nephew on my daughter-in-law’s side and we have met him a few times, but he is not our relative and not someone any of the other kids or grandkids have a relationship with As we settled into married life, the problems only escalated. . We found out during small talk when we asked about their last name that my kid was in the same preschool class as her distant cousin. Hello Reddit, TLDR: I'm looking for advice on how to build a relationship with my daughter in law, and get over the rift she's causing since giving birth. She’s ok, but I don’t see why people adore her so much. He's closer to us. Daughter-in-law may also do things differently. It still makes me angry, even after 22 years (less so than when daughter was young). In Japan, there is a thing called Yome-Shutome Genka "Mother-in-law Daughter-in-law War" but my MIL always told me and my Japanese sister-in-law, (her other DIL) that she wasn't going to be like that, because her own MIL, who lived to 102, had been so horrible to her, she didn't want it to be that way with her DIL's. I (52M) have one son (29M) who I’ll call Paul, he’s married to a woman I’ll call Kate (28F). My wife spoke to both of them to ask if they are okay and my daughter-in-law said she felt I was being misogynistic and that she didn't feel comfortable interacting with me anymore. She never initiates phone calls but will send a Xmas and birthday card. Jul 29, 2023 · If your daughter-in-law consistently acts distant at family gatherings, shows a lack of interest in forming a relationship with you, or frequently undermines you, it might be signs she dislikes you. They have other people they'd rather be around and when they feel cornered or forced to be close with someone they don't want to be close with, it pushes them further away. You've mentioned that several times, and it's extremely weird, whether dad liked kissing his daughter in law or not. Maybe she is withholding your family from you. My older son got married in 2018. My wife has been battling and so far beating her second bout of cancer, but one day it may come back and she won’t be as lucky. We are no contact with my mom. Unfortunately for me all it showed was deep down my in-laws didn’t truly care about my daughter and really just cared about themselves and saw her as some kinda prop or toy. At his house, she is the only child of an only child. I have 4 sons, and I love Stop talking about "if he's interested" or not. Everyone seems to love her. I'm terrified my parents in law won't like me as a daughter in law anymore, because now they have a proper Korean one 😅 At first it felt stupid, weird, or like we were annoying them. My son (D, 31) has been married to my daughter in law (B, 24?) since September of 2020. That includes being a subservient daughter in law that should be cooking dinner every night. She complains how I'm not Korean enough and that I'm not American, I'm Korean which means I need to follow Korean culture. Trust and honesty for me is what makes any relationship last. Maybe she is mean to your son or grandchildren. Because you and your husband will have your freedom but sense of closeness with family too!! There won’t be constant tiff because at the end there could be some biases towards Daughter in law. Example; my daughter hears me say I love you, 40 times a day, so she says it to me, all the time, randomly. My wif Last week my youngest daughter M (35F) and her wife (35F) told me that they had promised their nephew L( 10M) a tropical vacation that was canceled due to Covid. Linda would drop by our home unannounced, criticizing our decorating choices and offering unsolicited advice on how to run our household. Mom is no longer the most important woman in her son or daughters life, now daughter-in-law has that supporting role and makes life decisions without mom needing to be involved. I'm a person who understand boundaries as well. The whole story won’t fit in the character count so I’ll try to make this very brief. My Daughter-In-Law Is Proposing to My Son, and I Couldn't Be Happier! My daughter-in-law (a pediatrician named Lexi) called me today with the most wonderful news: she intends to propose to my son! Lexi is such a sweet, hardworking, thoughtful, no-nonsense woman, and my son always remarks on how loved and respected he feels by her. In few months ago I made a post about my daughter in law often not being present at family functions. They proved time and time again they couldn’t be trusted, so neither my husband or myself felt comfortable having our daughter alone with them. My mom turned into an anti-vaccinator, so we have totally blocked her. My son and daughter-in-law have been distant with me since, with my daughter-in-law barely speaking to me at all. I understand the need to marry and make your own life. As a result, we rarely see each other. She likely grew up expecting that she would one day get a daughter in law servant of her own. See full list on wikihow. My daughter's husband is very close to his grandmother, but not the rest of his family. She may also exclude you from plans or show negative body language, such as avoiding eye contact. tldr at the bottom. com Mar 24, 2019 · Do you have a distant relationship with a daughter-in-law? Consider these compassionate ways to respond to heal tensions and build strong relationships. I’m reading a lot of comments that give perspective on expectations from the Indian culture, and most are asking for understanding for the mom. Why on EARTH does that matter? The problem here is you, your marriage, and your self-control. She rarely sees or keeps up with our daughter. Most daughter in laws do not want to be close with their mother in laws. We dropped everything, including #1 daughter with my mom who was practically pushing us out the door. When I was 7 mos pregnant with #2 daughter, we were at a family dinner and my parents house. He lost his last grandparent and thinks she should take the kids to meet her, last time she saw my mom was at her wedding in 2016. I rarely get to see him, my daughter-in-law, and my grandchildren. My son-in-law (20M) won't talk to me anymore and my daughter (19F) is growing ever more distant. I waddled my big pregnant butt to see her and wait and comfort my ex. Can you imagine how good that feels? You can create that reality but it starts with you. Hey Reddit, this is actually a post for my mother (I’m the oldest son), as she doesn’t have a Reddit account and English isn’t her first language, so she’d rather me do this. We live out of state and have to beg her to come see us. it’s been 10 years of marriage living in metro, yet I am an outsider for my in laws when it comes to decision making! On a side-note, my husband's little brother suddenly got married after getting a girl pregnant. We got a call that my MIL had a minor heart attack. I think everyone is being ridiculous, but others think I’m the asshole here, so I thought I’d ask for opinions. Perhaps she physically abuses, threatens, or neglects you. I followed your advice and decided not to contact my DIL for a while. My mother-in-law is terminally ill and she’s very close to my daughter and wife and I’d hate for her to pass with things like they are. Maybe she steals. In a LDR you are forced to trust. It was interesting that even though the kids were the same age they were a generation off from one another. Dad, meanwhile, has refused all relationships, moved in with his parents (and stayed there this entire time), and gives our daughter everything she wants. Maybe she does or deals drugs. When our daughter (we'll call her L) was 10, I remarried and had another daughter (A). Daughter's hubby thinks she should take the kids and visit. If you don’t the worry and anxiety will eat you alive. Especially in a LDR. They're now having their second kid on the way, and basically living together with his parents. David constantly compared me to their ideal daughter-in-law, making me feel inadequate and stressed. My mother in law lives with us and watches our child while we work. I have not contacted her since the end of august and it is now the end of november. I think in more “normal” MIL situations it may be a lack of control. Again I don’t want my daughter to lose her mom as things are. This is intended to be a place where people can vent and look for support when dealing with a bad daughter in law. She has said she doesn't have a relationship with my mom. I shared great-great-grandparents with the 4 year old. Or she sends toxic texts. Backstory: I got married in cancun over the summer and when i got back i had my last semester of school and a time limit on med school applications. He lived that far away before they married, so her living there did not change that situation at all. I understand this- but it’s still an awful and misogynistic thing to want or expect. She is 74 and has lived in America since she was 21. However, it's difficult because for the several years, my son and daughter in law spend all their holidays with her side of the family. If your parents-in-law are decent people, they'll forgive any wrong moves and mistakes. My parents-in-law are really, really [old-fashioned] Korean (live out in the sticks, never met a foreigner before they met me, eat nothing but Korean food, never tried pizza, don't own a sofa and only sit on the floor, MIL has never driven a car, etc etc), but they're really open and chill when it comes to me. They spend time with her family, because her family lives there. wryip lrcz smai uxzjh nkmof fqyktnaw etbx dqwpi jcurldjm tpa qakebf rydia iebmdm khlms ybhrh